Tuesday, November 15, 2011

A little spicy, a bit saucy… Laugh your guts…

There are so many Smiles all over… Life is full of fun… Touch Wood, I’m enjoying every moment… Lemme share some funny lines, moments which made me and people around laugh a bit… So here you go on a travel of laughter, smiles, amusement… However lemme warn you before you take this ride, there’s a lot of non-veg bitchy talk below. So think before you start reading… Njoyyyy…

A friend Vrushali says –
And I have to write her name since I loved her dialog…..
Vrushali : I dunno why Scientist don't create cond*** for heart... people really f*** our feelings…
I was literally laughing for so long after reading this. :D Vrush, im surely gonna recommend your concept to Scientists, and they will be so grateful, earning in millions after getting this Idea… :D

A fatty cutie Girl friend clicked a photo with a fatty cutie balloon. Two of the guys commented on the photo –
Guy 1 – A balloon with a balloon
Guy 2 – Guess the Bigger balloon.
Now I was thinking what did the guys actually see, just two balloons or were they actually comparing the three balloons which were all settled in the upper accomplishments in the beautiful figure??? Confused.. ;)

There were some wall pastes on which the first line that they had pasted all over to let people know what is the motto of their idea was –
“This year we are going to think Bigger than the size”……
Ha ha ha….. Isn’t this statement completely ROLF. Read it again you would know what I meant. I think the person who must have suggested this line don’t have any sense of humour. And if he had he just wanted the gusty people like us to use are spare brains and laugh and make others laugh. Now guys reading that wall paste must be so happy thinking that they are going to get, if not get atleast see Bigger Sizes. And girls must be happy to have some good accomplishment in their outline. :) ha ha :)
The second line on the same wall was –
“This year we will Delight our Customers. Everyday.”
OMG……… I knew only one kind of business helps in delighting their Customers Everyday… Are they talking about the same :D
And the last line was something like they are going to Develop and Deliver better offerings in the year… :D God, please save my country the population is on the verge to run vertically upwards with the speed of light…
ha ha... God Bless you Dear...  

OMG… Guys are guys always –
Some weeks ago – I was on the way to Loo in my office; stopped in between to have a small talk with a friend at his desk.
He – What’s the deal now-a-days.. You daily get ready so well and come to office; I think you have decided you don’t want us to work.
Me – I get ready just for you my dear and still you are complaining (with a dramatic sad face)
He – You don’t have to do that for me.
Me – Ohh, I know you like me in worst of my sweats, right??
He – No, I even like you at the time of your monthly Birthdays….
:D :D :D (Now don’t make me explain about the b’days, just laugh as I did)

When people use their Extra Brains –
A new hindi TV show started some days back – “Bade acche lagte hai” and a friend while taking the name of the show sang –
Badesssss acche lagte hai… par choto se bhi kaam hota hai (Big sized **** is nice however even small sized can also be useful)
Laugh if you understood, leave it if not… :) When I heard, I had to clap for the brain which ran so ahead the miles…

Some of my Frndz were checking my Mythological knowledge… Spare me if the next conversation would hurt anyone’s sentiments, but go through it… :);) It’s the silliest ME –
She – Can you name some of the Goddess?
Me – Yes, we have Laxmi, she sits in Lotus, We have Kali mata, killing someone donno who, then Saraswati mata she having that old style guitar in her hands.
She – Useless, that’s not a guitar, it’s a Veena. Tell about the God’s?
Me – We have one Shiv God, he has his hair tied up and wears very less clothes even though he sits on ice and has his wife always besides him.
She – How do you know His wife is always with him?
Me – I have always seen that in photos or the TV shows? I also know He is very good at Sex and likes to do it any time.
She – ha ha ha… u r impossible
Me – Seriously I know, even the Gannu bappa’s story of getting Elephants head is related to it.
She – And How?
Me – Parvati went to take bath and for the safety she created Gannu bappa. Shiv God came and tried to sneak in since he desperately wanted to make love and this small gannu stopped him and rest how he lost his head everyone knows.
She – he he he…
She – Do you know about Ramayan, Mahabharat?
Me – Yes, when I was a kid, we had only Doordarshan at home and on Sunday both these serials were broadcast one after the other.

And then she asked me a lot many questions and I gave a lot many wrong answers where I mixed all the TV shows Ramayan,Mahabharat, Shri Krishna, Jai Hanuman, etc and I still think that Duryodhan and Kumbhakaran are brothers to Bheem and they are were included in five pandavs with Shri Krishna and Karn joining them for the fight and Ram created that bridge in the river for all of them to cross. Donno why people laugh on hearing my answers. My friend concluded that it’s not my fault, it’s the mistake of Doordarshan since they had a telecast of these mythological shows one after the other to confuse people. :P


Washroom story –
All Girls are so identical when it comes to their stupid traits –
They always need One thing – :) :D :) I mean chit chatting all the time. And they can start that every where – I again meant chit chatting any time any place… They even forget that they are right now in washroom while doing that – Im mean talking dear…. :) :D
Including me, we are four Girls in my project and generally we all come at the same time to office, probably in same cab, go for breaks, meals, loo together. There are some 6/7 toilets in the washroom. We all capture one each. And every day we have some discussion going on, which we continue even while peeing… :D There’s another common friend in some other project. She at times accidently meets us in the washroom and sees us talking while we all were in different toilets. Repetitively seeing the same, she once while cleaning her hands was arguing with me that “how you all girls can talk while sitting in toilets?” And I could just answer her “We are girls yaar, we can talk anywhere”
After some days, we again faced each other in washroom. This time I was alone. And she started talking to me and continued even when she was in toilet. When she came out I was laughing. She gave me surprised looks. And I told her – “Now madam what did you do today, same thing what my team does, talking while peeing, :)all girls are so so so same na :D”
She was laughing and could not say anything rather than “Accepted”… ha ha…
Muaah to all my Darling Girlfriends… Life is boring without you all…

A sweet useless friend Mayank in office after being in my contact from last one year, sitting just cross to me, watching all my thoughtless acts, listening to my bold conversations and being a part of all my veg non-veg talks concluded about me in the following poem - :)
"Kuch kha pee rahe ho to Zinda ho tum
Keyboard pe zor se type kar rahe ho to Zinda ho tum
Balon ko baar baar sehlaon to Zinda ho tum
Quadrant main sabki gardan apni taraf ghumai to Zinda ho tum
Roz shopping ki baatein karo to Zinda ho tum
Roz nayi nayi style maro to Zinda ho tum
Tumphatake ki tarah raho, sabko hairan karo,
Sabko gali de rahe ho, to Zinda ho tim!!!!"
:) :) Useless, though I should get angry but I would like to Thank you to pay so much of attention and pen down all my useless traits. :)

Chennai and Chaitanya –
A friend Chaitanya working with Standard Charters in Chennai, visited Pune last week. We travelled together to my native discussing and getting all the updates for each other’s life.
Me – So howz Chennai
He – too humid, very bad climate and so many ugly people and so many ugly people together
Me – ha ha. Ugly.
He – seriously, all the girls there are so ugly. And in 500 you would see one beautiful girl probably a north Indian and have 50 people around her always so no chance.
Me – so howz life going there?
He – how would it be between so many Ugly people. When I landed in Pune I thought I’m back in heaven, away from all those Ugly people.
Me – he he he…
I could not stop my laughter listening to someone who is so much frustrated with UGLY people (probably Girls)…

PS.
Appu’s B’day –
Another super cool B’day of my life. Im blessed with such lovely friends who gave me such a lovely surprise. God, I Love you all… You all are fabulous, fantastic, terrific. I always dreamt of having a Princess theme on my B’day, but thought I have grown too older to behave like kids. But Dreams come true. :) :) Some awesome people in my life made me feel like a Princess. Thank you guys. Thank you so so so much. Im gonna miss you all.

PSS.
I hate those Bouncers who asked for our age proof and moreover asked me twice “What’s your age”. I will kill that long hefty fat ugly hippo one day…

PSS.
Sunday Picnic Pic.
Supercool as Always... Right...

See yaa guys... Stay Happy... Keep Laughing and Smiling... Njoy... Love You all...

4 comments:

Jack said...

Aparana,

Naughty, Naughty. LOL. Do you ever check your mail? Anyways BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Take care

PS : No visit for a long time?

Purvi said...

not fair.....
u shud mention all your mythological knowledge!!!
"sply Draupadi pandavoki maa thi!!" :D:D
padhke phirse woh sab yaad aaya....Miss you all guys....

Aparana Pitale said...

@Uncle Jack,

Thanks for the wishes on my b’day…. Yea, Appu is very naughty, and at times I like to talk or write such shit in ekdum bindass way… :) The new office really keeps me busy a lot… But now I have got a lot settled and would surely visit your blog….

Aparana Pitale said...

@Purvi,

Ha ha…. My mythological knowledge… :D :D

People would sui me if I try to do that... aur ye isiliye to likha hai so that I can always go back to this page and remember all our naughty traits.. Even I miss all our useless talks a lot… :)